For as long as I can remember, I have believed in God. My earliest memories are colored by the traditions of the church: walking down a long, carpeted aisle toward an altar, and the weight of a heavy baptismal robe as I climbed the steps behind the sanctuary. I remember the water of the tub at the front of the church, but if I’m being honest, I didn’t truly understand the weight of what was happening. I knew the “rules”: you go to church, you pray, you read the Bible; but consistency wasn’t a part of my childhood home. I believed, but I didn’t know Him.
In high school, I thought I found that connection at a local revival. The music was loud, the Holy Spirit moved, and I was on fire for weeks. But eventually, the emotions faded, and I stopped going. In a strange twist of faith, I later found out that the preacher there was arrested for terrible crimes; looking back, perhaps my fading interest was God’s way of protecting me from a distorted version of the faith.
Breaking Through the “Old Testament Wall”
As an adult, I tried repeatedly to read the Bible. I’d start at Genesis (because that’s where you start a book, right?) but I’d get halfway through and hit a wall. I couldn’t reconcile the “loving God” I heard about in Sunday School with the God who commanded such heavy judgments. I didn’t understand the context, the holiness, or the why behind the stories. So, I would quit. Again and again.
Everything changed a few years ago when I downloaded the YouVersion Bible App and started The Bible Recap. For the first time, I read the Bible in chronological order while listening to a daily podcast that explained where God’s heart was in the text. Suddenly, the Old Testament wasn’t a list of judgments; it was a beautiful, heartbreaking story of a God who refuses to give up on His people.
My long commutes became my classroom. Even when my husband and I started sharing the commute, our environment shifted. We realized how much the TV and music we allowed into our home acted as open doors for spirit-dampening influence. We switched to Christian music, turning our vehicle into a place of daily praise and worship. I’ve now completed over 100 plans and study the Word daily. It isn’t a chore anymore; it’s my lifeline.
Finding Our Church Home
Part of this growth was finding a community that didn’t just go through the motions. We found that at Mountain Top Cowboy Church. Even though it’s now a 45-minute drive every Sunday, it is worth every mile. Our pastor is incredibly knowledgeable and has a gift for breaking down the Word so it’s understandable in today’s climate. Most importantly, he won’t back down from the Truth or the Word just to conform to society’s pressures. He truly cares for his flock.
It was there that the understanding finally met the action. I was re-baptized there, finally grasping the full weight of that commitment. On that same day, my husband was baptized for the first time, and our nephew was recently baptized as well. Having a church home that follows the Word is essential, it’s where your personal study meets a community of believers.
What is the Gospel, Really?
If you are reading this and you don’t have a relationship with God, or perhaps you feel like I did, believing in a higher power but not knowing the Person, I want to share with you what I finally realized.
The Gospel literally means Good News, but to understand why it’s good, we have to understand the reality: None of us are perfect. We’ve all fallen short of God’s standard of holiness. But because God loved us too much to leave us in that gap, He sent His Son, Jesus.
Jesus lived the perfect life we couldn’t live and took the punishment we deserved by dying on the cross. Three days later, He rose from the grave, defeating death. Being saved isn’t about joining a club or being a good person; it’s about accepting that Jesus paid your debt and choosing to follow Him as your Lord. It’s moving from being a stranger to God to being His child.
When you make that decision, you aren’t left to walk this path alone. God gives us the Holy Spirit to live within us, acting as our Comforter and Guide. The Holy Spirit works in our hearts daily, teaching us how to live, helping us understand the Word, and gently guiding us into becoming the children of God we were always meant to be. It’s moving from being a stranger to God to being His child, with His Spirit leading the way.
The Reality of the Flesh: Why We Still Fail
One of the biggest misconceptions about being saved is the idea that once you accept Jesus, you suddenly stop making mistakes. I’ve learned that while my spirit was made new, I still live in this “flesh”; that human part of us that gets tired, gets angry, or makes poor choices.
The Bible doesn’t hide this reality. In fact, it is filled with the stories of massive human failures. Think about it:
• Moses had a temper and was a murderer, yet God used him to lead an entire nation to freedom.
• David was an adulterer and a conspirator, yet God called him a “man after His own heart.”
• Peter literally denied even knowing Jesus in His darkest hour, yet he became the “rock” upon which the early church was built.
If God only used perfect people, the Bible would be a very short, empty book. Our failures do not make God turn His back on us. Instead, He is the ultimate Architect who can take the broken pieces of our past and use them to build something better. He doesn’t just forgive our past; He redeems it, using our struggles to give us a testimony that can encourage someone else.
A Relationship for the Hard Days
I know this might not seem medical on the surface, but it is the foundation of everything I am going through. Doctors can treat the body, but only God can sustain the spirit. If I were facing my current journey, with all its stresses and uncertainties, without the relationship I have with God right now, I don’t know where I would be. My faith is the anchor that keeps me from drifting when the storms get loud.
My final encouragement to you is this: It doesn’t matter what your yesterday looks like. You might feel like you’ve failed too many times or that your past is too messy for a holy God. But God specializes in mess. He isn’t looking for a polished version of you; He’s just looking for you.
You don’t need to have a perfect past or a theology degree to start talking to Him. If you feel like you’ve been starting and stopping for years, let today be the day you just start and stay.
Resources for Your Journey:
• The YouVersion Bible App: A free app with thousands of reading plans.
• The Bible Recap: A podcast (available on the app or Spotify/Apple) that explains the daily readings.
• Mountain Top Cowboy Church: If you’re looking for a church home that stands on the Word and a community that loves its flock, come join us!
https://youtube.com/@mountaintopcowboychurch9908?si=jTsrj24_sQX_d10v
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